Video for Kanye West's "Can't Tell Me Nothin" featuring Zach Galifianakis and Will Oldham. Directed by Michael Blieden.



The PimpWiz.com Bottom Line: That's some funny Sh*t!


A PimpWiz Exclusive

Labels: Comedy

Don (Danny Mcbride) from Drillbit Taylor explains why he's so... sexy?



In 2006, McBride appeared in the lead role in the low-budget comedy film The Foot Fist Way, which he wrote with friends and frequent collaborators Jody Hill and Ben Best. Will Ferrell and Adam McKay's production company, Gary Sanchez Productions, has picked up distribution rights to the film and hopes for it to endure a Napoleon Dynamite-like success. McBride has recently filmed major supporting roles in the comedies Hot Rod, The Heartbreak Kid, Drillbit Taylor, Tropic Thunder, and The Pineapple Express. McBride has also created and starred in the 2008 HBO pilot, East Bound and Down, which he worked on again with Jody Hill and Ben Best. Gary Sanchez Productions is producing the show.


A PimpWiz Exclusive

Labels: Comedy

All professional photographs are usually touched-up a tiny bit. Sometimes specks of dust need to be removed, maybe the image needs a little bit of color correction or even a dose of red eye reduction.

Then there are images that get completely 'shopped (aka Photoshopped). For example, look at the terrible image of Oprah to the right from a 1989 issue of TV Guide. Oprah's head doesn't even look natural transplanted on Ann-Margret's body. It's ridiculous!

While "Photoshopping" an image might be a creative opportunity for artistic photographers and designers, for news editors, it can all be a bit of a nightmare once the public finds out.

Here are 7 of the most famous Photoshop fakes according to Photopreneur.com.


methodshop | digg story

Labels: Comedy, tech news

Jon has announced that he is dropping out of the race for the presidency of the Rob Lowe Fanclub. He claims that he is already too over worked as chairman of the Jake the Snake Roberts Fanclub, and wouldn't be able to give Rob Lowe all the time and attention that he deserves.



Everyday Normal Guy - Back to Top

It's pretty simple, the whole song is in A minor
Lyrics

I am just a regular everyday normal guy...
Nothing special about me Mother Fucka
I am just a regular everyday normal guy...
When I go to the clubs I wait in line Mother Fucka
I am just a regular everyday normal guy...
I got 600 dollars In the bank Mother Fucka
I am just a regular everyday normal guy...
And my sexual performances are average

I work at customer service for a phone company
I make 12 bucks an hour but that's all I need
I live in a small apartment on a quiet street
I don't go out too much I like to watch TV
I cant afford a car I use public transportation
I don't mind I read 'til I reach my destination
sometimes a newspaper, sometimes a book
the amount of money I save this shit is off the hook

And i am not very good with the women
I'm a pretty shy person and I'm average looking
last time I had sex was in 2003
and I am ashamed to admit but it wasn't free

I am just a regular everyday normal guy...
I get nervous in social situations Mother Fucka
I am just a regular everyday normal guy...
I get constipated once a month Mother Fucka
I am just a regular everyday normal guy...
And i make pretty good spaghetti sauce Mother Fucka
I am just a regular everyday normal guy...
and I get scared when I go see the dentist

I'm the "Pauly Shore" of everyday life
easily forgettable and I am not very liked
I have an "According to Jim" personality
I'm as entertaining as a fucking STD

if you wanna mess with me I think you probably can
because I am not confident and i am weak for a man
I'll just roll up in a ball while you kick me in the back, yeah
honestly I probably wont fight back
And I don't have many friends that would back me up
My friend Steve would but he doesn't look very tough

Steve: "You want some of this bitch?"

If you rarely get laid put your hands up
If you're not well paid put your hands up
If you got a pet cat put your hands up
and if you got a bad back put your hands up

Jon: "I hurt my back two summers ago moving a fridge and ever since then it's just not the same... you know it... it gets... It gets pretty sore"

I am just a regular everyday normal guy...
My parents are really nice people Mother Fucka
I am just a regular everyday normal guy...
I am somewhat afraid of heights Mother Fucka
I am just a regular everyday normal guy...
I like the show "Greys Anatomy" Mother Fucka
I am just a regular everyday normal guy...
and I am pretty good at making paper planes

Steve: "I could do this all day... I could do this all day... I could do this all day..."

Also Check out "High as F*ck"


A PimpWiz Exclusive

Labels: Comedy

Get mp3s and merchandise at http://www.smoothE.tv.

"'Crank That Kosha Boy' Instructional Video" coming soon.


CREW
Executive Producer: Eric Schwartz
Director: Ron Eigen for Diligent, LLC (dodiligent.com)
Producer: Gabriel Landau for Diligent, LLC (dodiligent.com)
Director of Photography: Vahe Papazyan
Lead Editor: Karl Slate
Gaffer: Zach Voytas
Costumes: Desiree V. Castro for DreamCircus.com http://www.myspace.com/dezproductions
Makeup: DanielePiersonsBeauty.com
Dancers: Marcus Low, Johnny Pineda, Michael Terrell (aka Duo), Jerry Maxens (aka T-Co)
Production Assistants: Shane Detwiler, Cody Rosario, Kieran Kenny

CAST
Rabbi/Kosha Boy/Baby/Kid: Eric Schwartz
Kosha Kids: Paul Herrera and Joey Karpowicz
Moyle: Randall Reeder
Mom: Norma Jean
Hot Girl: Ellen Etten
Golde: Kira Soltanovich
Dreidel Dudes: Lee Levine, Wes Martens, Marty Ross
Party/Templegoers: Samantha Larsen, Shannon Hodson, Dave "Lovemachine" Sievers, Richard Weiss, Nikki Klecha, Adam Fox, Shane Detwiler, Cody Rosario.


A PimpWiz Exclusive

Labels: Comedy

This is a song, that uh, theres alot of xmas songs out there, but not
Too many about hanukkah, so I wrote a song for all those nice little jewish
Kids who dont get to hear any hanukkah songs--here we go...

Put on your yalmulka, here comes hanukkah
Its so much fun-akkah to celebrate hanukkah,

Hanukkah is the festival of lights,
Instead of one day of presents, we have eight crazy nights.

When you feel like the only kid in town without a x-mas tree, heres a list of
People who are jewish, just like you and me:

David lee roth lights the menorrah,
So do james caan, kirk douglas, and the late dinah shore-ah

Guess who eats together at the karnickey deli,
Bowzer from sha-na-na, and arthur fonzerrelli.

Paul newmans half jewish; goldie hawns half too,
Put them together--what a fine lookin jew! [esus]

You dont need deck the halls or jingle bell rock
Cause you can spin the dreidl with captain kirk and mr. spock--both jewish!
[esus]

Put on your yalmulka, its time for hanukkah,
The owner of the seattle super sonic-ahs celebrates hanukkah.

O.j. simpson-- not a jew!
But guess who is...hall of famerrod carew--(he converted!)

We got ann landers and her sister dear abby,
Harrison fords a quarter jewish--not too shabby!

Some people think that ebeneezer scrooge is,
Well, hes not, but guess who is:all three stooges. [esus]

So many jews are in show biz--
Tom cruise isnt, [tacit] but I heard his agent is. [esus]

Tell your friend veronica, its time you celebrate hanukkah
I hope I get a harmonica, on this lovely, lovely hanukkah.

So drink your gin-and-tonic-ah, and smoke your mara-juanic-ah,
If you really, really wanna-kah, have a happy, happy, happy, happy
Hanukkah. happy hanukka!


A PimpWiz Exclusive

Labels: Comedy

My loony bun is fine Benny Lava!
Minor bun engine made Benny Lava!
Anybody need this sign? Benny Lava!
You need a bun to bite Benny Lava!



Have you been high today?
I see the nuns are gay!
My brother yelled to me…
I love you inside Ed!
My loony bun is fine Benny Lava!
Minor bun engine made Benny Lava!
I told a high school girl…
I love you inside me!
I’d love to see you pee on us tonight!
You feel me up with doom.
Quit looking up at me!
You got a minute girl?
The puppy had a fee!
Don’t think I do love her
We’re looking in a pill!
All of them like the bun!
Now poop on them Oliver!
You know the hole to put it!
Your pundit got armor!
Who put the goat in there?
The yellow goat I ate!
(I like to swim in it)
(I like to swim in his)
A nerd to punk a nerd.
I’m bleeding Fucking A!
That stuff is pink colored!
Some day I sell DNA!
This boar ain’t very cool.
You need a Hindi yew!
Got into Seattle.
I’ll lay a friend of yours!
I fought a barber man!
We know what’s in butter rum!
A jet pack… operation…
Send him the crazy Hindu!
Whatever! My Sadist!
All baked and cooked alive!
I lick you… Belinda…
The ninja made a movement.
Tell Donna… No collar…
I’ll do what body loves!
I put papaya there.
You love me inside there!
Have you been high today?
I love you inside me!

Shout out to Johnny Dubs for the tip

Labels: Comedy

Adam McKay and Will Ferrell, both formerly of Saturday Night Live (Ferrell as a performer, and McKay as a writer) have made two of the funniest movie comedies in the last few years, Anchorman and Talladega Nights, and this short featuring McKay and Ferrell as two roommates and their cranky landlord.




Will Ferrell's production company is making a big splash on the Internet, partnering with a venture capital firm to launch the comedy video site FunnyOrDie.com.

Labels: Comedy

Cadbury's Dairy Milk Advert of a Gorilla emotionally drumming to Phil Collins song "In The Air Tonight"

BrandRupublic.com--"Cadbury has unveiled a £6.2m campaign for Dairy Milk featuring a gorilla playing the drum solo of Phil Collins' track 'In the Air Tonight'. The 90-second film, which was written and directed by Sony Bravia 'balls' creative director Juan Cabral of Fallon London, launched during the 'Big Brother 8 UK' final on 31st August 2007.

AMAZING!!

Shout out to Coolbirth for the tip!

A PimpWiz Exclusive

Labels: Comedy

Moosenuckle...Close cousin to the CamelToe, its the outward migration of meaty mudflaps upon introduction of fabric to the crotch of your typical 'split-tail'. Actually very common in the Midwest, most likely to be found at your local club on 80's Night.

Otherwise referred to as Ninja's Foot or Yo-Yo Smuggler among other classy terms.

Labels: Comedy, Weird

This was forward to Pimpwiz and its so funny/interesting/weird that we had to show you:

"What am I doing wrong?

Okay, I'm tired of beating around the bush. I'm a beautiful(spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl. I'm articulate and classy.I'm not from New York. I'm looking to get married to a guy who makes at least half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind that a million a year is middle class in New York City, so I don't think I'm overreaching at all.

Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board? Any wives? Could you send me some tips? I dated a business man who makes average around 200 - 250. But that's where I seem to hit a roadblock. 250,000 won't get me to central park west. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married to an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she's not as pretty as I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right? How do I get to her level?

Here are my questions specifically:
- Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics- bars,
restaurants, gyms
-What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won't hurt my
feelings
-Is there an age range I should be targeting (I'm 25)?

- Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the upper east side so plain? I've seen really 'plain jane' boring types who have nothing to offer married to incredibly wealthy guys. I've seen drop dead gorgeous girls in singles bars in the east village. What's the story there?

- Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows - lawyer, investment banker, doctor. How much do those guys really make? And where do they hang out? Where do the hedge fund guys hang out?

- How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am looking for MARRIAGE ONLY

Please hold your insults - I'm putting myself out there in an honest way. Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I'm being up front about it. I wouldn't be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn't able to match them - in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a nice home and hearth."

A PimpWiz Exclusive

Labels: Comedy, Weird

An address by Kevin Federline (Andy Samberg) sharing parenting tips

Labels: Comedy

The FBI had an opening for an assassin. After all the background
checks, interviews and testing were done, there were 3 finalists. Two
men and a woman।For the final test, the FBI agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a gun। "We must know that you will follow your instructions no matter what the circumstances। Inside the room you will find your wife sitting in a chair॥ Kill Her!!"

The man said, "You can't be serious. I could never shoot my wife." The
agent said, "Then you're not the right man for this job. Take your
wife and go home."

The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and
went into the room. All was quiet for about 5 minutes. The man came
out with tears in his eyes, " I tried, but I can't kill my wife."

The agent said, "You don't have what it takes. Take your wife and go
home."

Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the same instruction,
to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Shots
were heard, one after another. They heard screaming, crashing, banging
on the walls

After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there
stood the woman, wiping the sweat from her brow. "The gun is loaded
with blanks"
she said. "I had to beat him to death with the chair."

Moral of The Story: Women are evil. Don't F with them ;-)

Labels: Comedy

Weng Weng (September 7, 1957 — August 29, 1992 was a Filipino actor and martial artist. He was born in Baclaran, in what is now Parañaque City. Only 2 foot, 9 inches (83 cm) tall, he is listed in the Guinness World Records as the shortest adult actor in a leading role. He played Secret Agent 00 in For Your Height Only [5]and The Impossible Kid. He had an active film career in the 1970s and the 1980s, but had been retired for several years prior to his death in the mid-1990s.

Weng Weng's online recognition grew in April 2007 with the release of the Weng Weng Rap




video by The Chuds and John R of R Room.
Music by The CHUDS. Video edited by John R.
We're pretty sure there's no relation to Little Superstar.

Big Shout out to Phil Colacioppo for the tip!

Labels: Comedy

She personally believes that U.S. Americans should help South Africa and the Iraq have maps so we will be able to build up our future. For us.



Executive Producer - Drew Curtis
Writers/Producers - Bill Doty
Director - Jonathan Quinn
Production Manager - Tiffany Farmer
Editor - Jonathan Quinn

Cast
Miss Teen South Carolina - Angie Fox
Kids and People of Other Nations That Need Maps -
B Coker, Victoria Coker, Andrew Coker, Meyonne Coker, Latisha Williams, Kenneth Bowen, Phyllis Hall, Keionne Minniefield, Omoye Minniefield, Ajane Minniefield, Keston Minniefield, Mariyah Richardson, Steven Robinson, Shoshanna Robinson, Shania Lane, Quentin Lane, Jewel Monagan, Kimberly Webb, Jaylyn Webb, Ms. Webb

Labels: Comedy

Originally aired on the King of "I don't give a F**k" aka The Howard Stern Show।

We know this is very racy and may offend some people but come on its funny. We know if Frank was still around we wouldn't have any problems with these terrorists thats for sure ;-)

You have to listen to this:

Frank Sinarta, "Stranger on My Flight"

Strangers on my flight,
turbans they're packin'.
Wonderin' if they might,
plan a hijacking.
They could pull a stunt,
before this flight is through.

Something's on their minds.
I saw them mutter.
What that in their hands?
Looks like box cutters,
I'm gonna kick some ass,
if they make a move.

Strangers on my flight.
Two smelly people,
and they're not talking right;
and in a moment,
I will grab base ball bat;
and that will be that.
Swing like Joe DiMaggio,
and rip them both a new a-hole.

And if they pick a fight,
and try to screw us,
I'll punch out their lights,
just like Joe Louis.
It would feel so right,
for strangers on my flight.

Ratta Tat Tat Tat,
Budda Bing Bang Boom,
Zooma Zooma Zoom.

Thanks to Tom Ross for the tip on this bit.


A PimpWiz Exclusive

Labels: Comedy

US Weekend Gross: $71,850,000

According to the La Times:
Twentieth Century Fox's big-screen adaptation of the long-running animated TV sitcom grossed an estimated $71.9 million in its first weekend in the U.S. and Canada. The surprisingly strong haul showed the versatility and durability of a pop-culture franchise that has poked fun at Middle America for two decades.

The opening blew past industry expectations of $45 million. The movie, from a creative team including writer-producers Matt Groening and James L. Brooks, also opened strong abroad, hauling in $168 million worldwide from 73 countries including the U.S.

"I had been saying this is America's No. 1 comedy family, but forget the 'America' part — this is the Earth's No. 1 comedy family," Chris Aronson, senior vice president for distribution at Fox, said Sunday.


A PimpWiz Exclusive

Labels: Comedy, Movies

This is quite possibly the funniest thing we have ever seen!!!

Just like his suspected father Michael Jackson Tayzon Day is a singer and a songwriter. Watching his videos you realize he might do anything. No style is off-limits. No two videos are alike. From Bach to Tupac, Expect the Unexpected!

Yes, he has have a deep voice. No, he doesn't fake it. Yes, he looks young but really he is 25 years old. Crazy enough, Tayzon Day has never studied piano or voice formally. If you can't get enough of MJ, Jr. then all you have to do is download some of his videos. They have free MP3s and/or sheet music that you can download in the video details!

All we have to say is CHOCOLATE RAIN!!!



The above song was created by "Tay Zonday"
http://www.TayZonday.com

We figured you would want these powerful lyrics...

Chocolate Rain
Some stay dry and others feel the pain
Chocolate Rain
A baby born will die before the sin


Chocolate Rain
Forecast to be falling yesterday
Chocolate Rain
Only in the past is what they say

Chocolate Rain
Raised your neighborhood insurance rates
Chocolate Rain
Makes us happy 'livin in a gate

Chocolate Rain
Made me cross the street the other day
Chocolate Rain
Made you turn your head the other way

(Chorus)
Chocolate Rain
History quickly crashing through your veins
Chocolate Rain
Using you to fall back down again
[Repeat]

Chocolate Rain
Worse than swearing worse than calling names
Chocolate Rain
Say it publicly and you're insane

Chocolate Rain
Every February washed away
Chocolate Rain
Stays behind as colors celebrate


A PimpWiz Exclusive

Labels: Comedy, Music

The 1st part is a girl's apology email for cheating.
2nd is his hilarious reply which was forwarded to HIS entire address book and is now circulating everywhere.


Brad,
It would be difficult for me to be any more miserable right now, I
feel like the worst person ever. First, let me start by saying that I
am truly truly sorry, and I hate myself for hurting you. Of all the
people in the whole entire world, you were honestly the last person
that I would ever want to wrong in any way. There is no excuse at all
or anything that happened, so I won't even try other than to say all
of us had WAY too much to drink, and I did a stupid thing. I can
handle you being pissed at me, I absolutely deserve it, I can even
handle the ugly words that were exchanged between us, what I can't
handle is thinking that you see me as a different person. It is weird,
The world looked funny yesterday, I couldn't crack a smile if you paid
me, there are songs I can't listen to, and I just feel beyond crushed.
I don't know if you meant everything you said to me, and I am hoping
that you didn't. I know that I was wrong on many levels, but I am also
hoping that this is something that we can deal with. I know it sounds
totally crazy and stupid, I can't imagine my days without you. It is
totally strange and weird to say that, and you could say that my
behavior didn't reflect that, and you would be correct. I hate feeling
like you hate me, and I hate feeling like all of your friends think I
am a terrible person, because I am not. I know there is nothing I can
say or do to take back what happened. I am so sorry.

Elizabeth


RESPONSE:

Dear Elizabeth,

Thank you for your concern. I'll be sure to file it away under "L" for
"Long-winded diatribes from drunken whores I couldn't care less about".

You did a stupid thing huh? No...doing long division and forgetting to
carry the one is "a stupid thing"; Mixing in a red sock with a load of
whites is "a stupid thing"; Blowing some guy in a bathroom for
45minutes while I sit at the bar wondering if you're taking so long
because you ate too much bran that morning isn't as much a "Stupid
thing" as it is grounds for permanent removal from my social calendar.

To be honest, I'm not sure if it was more amusing that you went and
degraded yourself in a public toilet not once but twice in a 2 hour
span, or that you seemed to think that by saying "Well, I didn't F**k
him" somehow gave you a clean slate. So forgive me if I couldn't care
less if the world "looked funny" to you yesterday. Since your world
revolves around blow dryers, golden retrievers, Prada Bags and Jelly
Beans, I'm sure it must have been most unsettling to actually have to
consider someone else's feelings for 24 hours straight. The good news
for you is that my friends don't think you're a terrible person, they
just think you're the average run of the mill cum-guzzling blond who
commands about as much respect as your average child porn collector.

By the way, for the amount of time you claim to spend in spin class
you really must be doing something wrong to sport the thunder thighs
you do. Watching you parade around my bedroom in a thong was a little
like watching sea lions mate. Thought you might like to know.

PS. I forwarded about 100 people on this email.

Talk to you never,
Brad


Ha...

Labels: Comedy

'American Idol' season three contestant Taryn Southern is out with the video for 'Hott4Hill', a Hillary Clinton crush video inspired by 'I Got a Crush...On Obama'



Watch out Obama. She's got a crush on Hill...

A MUSIC VIDEO PARODY
Written and performed by
Taryn Southern

And if you missed Obama Girl, check it out:

Labels: Comedy

This is not for the faint of ear...Sometimes its necessary to lower our standards and present the PimpWiz reader with the "stupid funny". What we have here is a whole week supply of stupid funny.

**If you consider yourself classy, conservative or upscale we don't suggest clicking on this link.**

Gamer Voice Chat Harassment with Duke Nukem
Ventrilo is a voice chat software often used by gamers to communicate while they play games together. What could be more fun than using a soundboard to harass people during their chats, and waiting for someone to completely flip out?

Gamer Voice Chat Harassment with Duke Nukem Video


Shout out to Wasnock for the tip!


A PimpWiz Exclusive

Labels: Comedy

We got to give it up to homeboy for still trying to get his moves down after he fell on his face;-)

Labels: Comedy

SkyMaul, the new catalog parody has a solution. TURN YOUR CAMEL TOE INTO A HOOF AGAIN. By Kasper Hauser



Send for your free info satchel. Available only at SkyMaul...

Labels: Comedy

Her name is Bunny and she is 20 years old. The video is mild amusing and real stupid all at the same time. We were glad to find out that her box won't bite ;-)

This is a funny response to Justin Timberlake's , "D*ck in a Box" on SNL

Labels: Comedy, Music, SNL