The 2006 MTV Video Music Awards were a bust. There were none of the pop culture-antics that historically have made MTV’s signature award show such an event—no three-way lesbian kisses, no rappers feuding with inanimate dog puppets, no surprise Michael Jackson appearances, just three and a half hours of over-rehearsed jokes and predictable winners (a side effect of letting viewers decide the results instead of industry professionals). Viewers complained and ratings plummeted.

So what’s going to stop the 2007 awards from being a similar disaster? Timbaland, hopefully. MTV has tapped the longtime behind-the-scenes hitmaker turned camera-mugging TV personality to curate the event’s live performances, and he’s pulled in a much stronger line-up than usual. Cee-Lo, Common, Lil Wayne, Rihanna, Foo Fighters, Fall Out Boy and Chris Brown are among the scheduled performers.

Although visa issues (and very-public personal issues) have thwarted plans for a rumored Lily Allen/Amy Winehouse team-up, there should be no shortage of historic moments. Britney Spears is slated to give her first television performance following years of pregnancy and tabloid-documented public drunkeness, and it promises to be either a lavish spectacle or an unforgettable train wreck. Akon will attempt to undo his recent bad publicity and reclaim his nice-guy image. Meanwhile, Spears’ ex, Justin Timberlake, will do double duty, backing Timbaland on “Give it To Me” and 50 Cent on “Ayo Technology.”

50, of course, will perform like a man with something to prove. The singles from his forthcoming album, Curtis, have mostly fizzled, so he’s at a disadvantage heading into his Sept. 11 sales showdown against Kanye West, who, incidentally, will be at the VMAs performing his much-hotter single, “Stronger,” which has already conquered the charts.

Ayo, 50: If Kanye’s performance kills, you have virtually no chance of outselling him on Tuesday.

A PimpWiz Exclusive by; Evan Rytlewski

Labels: Evan Rytlewski, MTV, mu events, Music