Hi Lauren,
I dont know exactly what my problem is and I dont know if its my fault or if its the fact that women are getting more shallow and stuck up...but i am having problem with finding an attractive lady that is interested in me. I see all these stupid phone
chat lines with these extremely beautiful women whom i just think if i had her my life would be complete. I think that me being a funny and pretty smart guy who has respect for women and treats women and people as a whole with kindness and compasion.

Now, i know i am not the most attractive man around and well that is problem because i got lazy after quitting soccer and cross country in high school and just didnt do much. I have a lack of confidence in myself for this looks problem. I will be at work and a girl will come in and i wouldnt know if she likes me or if she just cant stand looking at me...till maybe after she walks out someone will tell me she was flirting with me. I guess one problem of mine is knowing when a girl is attracted to me and wants to get to know me more.

Another problem i am starting to realize is that i have no idea what to say to a beautiful woman though in my head i do. I will go over and over things when i am alone and think they are very awesome things to say and would work but then when the moment comes i freeze up and just get stuck. I can never ask a girl for her number, and when i do get her number it seems that i never know when to call her, time frame wise,and why she sometimes will neeeeever call me back or even care that icalled.

Yes i probably seem to you like a huge train wreck but you look like someone that could probably help. You being absolutely amazing all around from eyes to lips to everything, and being a girl would know about what girls want and how guys should approach the subject. i never thought i would reach a low point in my life to have to email someone i dont know about a problem that is embarrassing to even tell my best
closest friends. So if you could do anything to help me out, that would be wonderful. I dont know, i doubt having you do a personal actual help one on one would be the most out of my mind things to even bring up but i brought it up because i do best learning that way. well, whatever you can do would be awesome and you have a great website and yeah just a total dream lady. well hope to hear back.

a hopeless romantic and helpless at the moment,
Mr. Hopeless Romantic

Lauren Response:

Dear Mr. Hopeless Romantic,

There is one word that comes to mind when I hear your story, confidence. I don’t think that you understand the power in being, or even acting brave, self-assured and confident. There are so many men out there who women may not think are the epitome of “handsome,” but they walk away from speaking/meeting them and say to one another “there is just SOMETHING about him.” That SOMETHING is confidence. It is the way in which a man stands, holds himself, makes eye contact, and laughs. It is in the way he puts himself together, the way he says what he wants and means it, the way he smiles. All of this done as if he knows himself, and somehow knows/gets you already.

Women respond to men who respond to themselves, and seem to know or see a self-value whether feigned or not (most women can’t tell the difference). Assume all women speaking to you, unless she is your boss or married (and even then sometimes you can still score), are flirting with you. And then respond back with your steady gaze and knowing glances, and always listen, don’t just hear her, listen to her. Women think it is sexy when a man listens and can absorb what she is saying and what she really means.

I don’t think women are becoming shallower. I think they, and men as well, have been distracted by the glamour of our times and have forgotten what a real and substantiated relationship is about and what it should mean. Thus, we often find ourselves seeking the wrong things when looking for a significant other. Although a nice rack and tight booty can go a long way (or make you go a long time), money and beauty go away with time. Heart and charisma don’t.

You should be looking for a friendship first and foremost, because all successful love stems from that. As Ella Wheeler Wilcox said, “all love that has not friendship for its base is like a mansion built upon the sand.” Apply this to your relationship/hook-up search AND to yourself, and all will not be lost.

You need to look at the things in your life that make you proud and the aspects of your character, whether physical or not, that make you happy. Focus on those things and not the negative. None of us are perfect and none of us can honestly say that we think we are. But it is about finding a way to see your glass as half full and not half empty. You can’t truly love or see worth in someone else, before you do within yourself.

Good luck and best wishes,

From one hopeless romantic to another, Lauren

A PimpWiz Exclusive By, Lauren

Labels: Ask Lauren, Lauren Weiss, women