"There are certain rules that women try to implement when first dating a man. Some are rules that make perfect sense, and can even be traditional and refreshing. Others are rules that are nothing more than obstacles, literally and figuratively speaking. Often these limits and demands are communicated in intimate moments that than leaves an awkward taste, and unfortunately only that, in her mouth. Here are a few ways to deal with several of these tricky rules that females have evolved to use much too regularly.

The Arm Bar: You know what this is. Even if you haven’t heard of it, you have seen it done before. You are making out with your girl back at the apartment, things are moving along and a window had to be opened because it’s getting hot. So you decide to slip your hand up her shirt and make your way to her mountain range, and just as your hand meets cotton, you get the arm bar. Her arm tightly wraps across her own body pushing down against herself so that you cannot proceed higher than her bellybutton. You push against it at first not knowing if it was intentional, but you realize it is when the arm bar suddenly takes on a whole new force and you are left to retreat your hand back to your side in absolute defeat. Do not feel discouraged. For whatever reason, she doesn’t want you climbing her peaks that way quite yet. Simply realize that sometimes subtly is hotter than the obvious. Instead of going up and under, try over and to the side. Side cleavage is hot and trendy right now, so continue being hot and heavy and occasional try a brush or two from the side. It will warm up her to the idea of being further liberated and arms don’t quite bend that way so no arm bar here.

The Pants Rule: You didn’t expect to go home with her that night, but your back at her place after meeting at the club and things are getting http://www.blogger.com/img/gl.bold.gif
insert bold tagssteamy. Even if you managed to escape an arm bar, you still might get the pants rule. The pants rule is when a girl asks you to stay over and sleep next to her but because you haven’t gotten to that level of intimacy yet, and you don’t have a change of clothes, she makes you sleep in your pants, be it jeans, khakis, whatever, and lets be honest, that sucks. So you get in bed and all you can do is toss and turn as your pants stick to you in places you wish you weren’t laying there thinking about. Wait until she falls asleep, then slip your pants off slowly and carefully and slide yourself between her top sheet and her comforter so that even though your pants are off and she wakes up, you still have a barrier between you two. Make sure to put your pants somewhere not too obvious, aka not thrown at the bottom of the bed, and try to put them back on before she wakes up. If all goes well, she will never realize they were off, you will be well rested and she will respect you for respecting her wishes and her damn pants rule.


The Call Me Later Rule: You are having a night out with the boys, drinking and meeting some hotties. And then you get a call from the girl you have been hooking up with for a few weeks who tells you she is out and wants to meet up for the night. You want to keep yourself open to meeting new women since lets be honest, this girl is nothing special, so you tell her you will call her back in a few minutes. You have no intentions of meeting up with her, but you know that if at the end of the night if you haven’t met any other prospects, you are going to need that chick. So what should you do? Simply start calling her once every hour or so from inside the bar. After the first or second ring, or even if she answers, hang up. Do it at least three times, until at 3am, if and when you need her, you call and wait for her to answer. When she says “I thought we were hanging out tonight, what happened?” You can say, “I called you like three times, check your missed calls. You must not have had service or it was my phone. Want to meet up? I would really like to see you!” She will check her phone, see your number on the missed calls list, sigh and then ask you for your address again.

So after fighting off the arm bar, covertly taking off your pants in bed, and making phone calls to humor her, you can only hope that in the end, it was all worth it. And if it wasn’t, move on to the next girl and take your rule-breaking strategies with you—you just may need them." [Via PimpWiz.com]

Labels: Ask Lauren, Lauren Weiss, women